When I go swimming, my favorite thing to do it to dive under the water and glide. It is quiet under there. The water feels good and I stay under until my lungs are ready to burst. I come up, grab some air and just look around for a moment and most usually I do it at least once more if not a few more times.
The immersion takes my whole self and envelopes me in the same comfort all over. The sounds from above are gone and there is only the water rushing past my ears. The water keeps me buoyant yet allows me to be in it with my whole self.
There are not too many times when a person is enveloped with the same thing all at once. I suppose for me the closest thing to that is a thought. Those thoughts that take up a person’s whole self. I carry around a bit of that underwater experience all the time. I think it is my soul.
When I get quiet like I am when I am underwater I hear God in there. He has always been with me. I do believe he has been there since I was thought of by God for me to be created. A ritual and tradition and even a belief of my life with God is baptism. Water was poured over me on Good Friday fifty-nine years ago when I was a tiny baby. I don’t remember it. I do have a picture of it, but it blesses me.
That water is God reminding me that I belong to him and anyone else that was there and those that saw the picture….me too. Of course I always belonged to him as everyone has their life and breath and being from God, but there was a sign to say it publicly. Some don’t do it at all, some wait until they are older, some do it sort of like me.
I don’t enjoy boats. I would rather be in the water. If I am in a boat, I usually have had one hand trailing in the water. It is soothing. When other thoughts that come from my own chatter in my head, you know the ones that second guess decisions, intentions, and abilities. The ones that I always seem to remember from others that sting, hurt and question my…everything. Well, those are the ones that are drowning out the voice of God.
How do I get rid of the chit chattering voices that are not from God? Either I will have to dive deep and stay under longer or I’m going to have to get really quiet. The times that seems to work best are when I am in nature, the times I get calm and pray. Sometimes that means just sitting to let the chit chattering of the voices from my self or others melt away, like in water. What does God want?
I used to talk to the cows out in the pasture and ask them if they knew Jesus. I had mini sermons for them as they stared chewing their cud and wondering with their big soft eyes who this little human was talking about how they fit into the universe. I knew they did fit into the universe because god made them. You see, I was a God Girl since before I was born.
A lot has happened to me to form the person I am today, but gratefully, despite all the chit chatter that was needful to turn ideas and truths around to sift the good from the bad, I remain that little girl in the pasture. Sorting out who God is in my life and in the lives of those around me. I let many question go unasked over time and not quiet accepting answers I did get because I thought I didn’t know better. I even passed some of those mis-formed ideas onto others, but that is growth. You do better when you know better. I hope I will be better next year than I am now.
That Good Friday 59 years ago was part of my history and it reminds me to dive more often and be free of the things that get in the way of what God is saying to me. Right now it is trying to find a new house of the Lord and quiet my heart and soul.
Water and pastures have been a staple in my life to grow me into the God Girl I am. The Lord is my shepherd. I shall not be in want. We makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me besides quiet waters. He restores my soul…. Coincidence? I don’t think so.