We have gone out socially now THREE TIMES THIS YEAR!!!!! To me that means…with other people our age….not just a concert where we don’t talk…or we watch a movie….(not that there is anything wrong with those as I enjoy them0, but where actual long great conversations happen. WHAT? I know!!!
Working a lot keeps us in a rut that shows the wear of the tires. Working the jobs makes it possible to pay the bills and gives some structure that make a person accountable, but working the jobs keeps many of us stuck because we are too ding dang tired to pull it together to have people over. Then something or some people throw out a lifeline or hook on the winch to pull us out of the rut we may be stuck in.
That is where the hubs and I have found ourselves so far this year. Around here the after holidays rut is often imposed by more than the tiredness, but also for the cold and dangerous weather. When we were young we went to our friends houses and they came to ours as we all had little kids at the same time. Then something happened..at least to us.
We got in this path where we just did things with the kids. Took them places, stayed with them because they were sick and lots of time they were sick. Sick, not in the life changing sick, but the colds and flu type sick. We got them involved in things and those things required practice time and driving, driving, driving. Lot of time it was taking them to their friends houses and picking up their friends to come here. It was great, but the social interaction was just peripheral on the sidelines, at the concerts or waiting in a hallway.
Then we got used to that and the driving, waiting, running came to an end as the kids moved away and here we are. Thankfully, people have invited us and we have invited them this year so we get to talk to someone other than ourselves. I think we are reinventing ourselves or finding in ourselves those people we used to know. Us. Changed, but still us.
The problem is that we don’t have the stamina that we once had in our youth to have people over because we are still working. We are delighted though that some of our friends got to retire. We sort of look at them as idols. How is it on the other side?
We discover that while we don’t want to get older too quickly, we also would like to enjoy our lives free from the work that is no longer bringing us happiness and want to retire. So many people really are dissatisfied with their jobs. They like the work, but the pressure, the paperwork, the stretching stretching stretching of one person to do the work of 3 is actually killing many.
We would like to travel, walk around outside when it is light, try new things, or even sit and stare at the grand kids. We would like to make our own decisions on how the day will go. We got to talk about that with our friends last night.
Did most of our parents wish to retire as eagerly as we do? I don’t remember many of them talking about that. Why? Was is because they didn’t complain? Did they love what they were doing that much? Did the people we know just have different jobs than we do? Did we just not listen? Did life expectancy have anything to do with it? Were they not as worried about healthcare expenses when they retired?
I know it is rather different now than when we were younger too. Our kids, for the most part, will have children still at home later than we did. Our kids traveled, hung out, went to festivals, marathons, protests, more bars than we did and lived with different friends for lots of years. We had a tiny bit of that then got married and had children. That was what people did then. Does this mean that our lives are just tipping the pyramid upside down. Our time to hang out is soon and theirs was early?